Dating a recently divorced man can feel both exciting and confusing. It's exciting because you may avoid some typical dating drama, and on the other hand, you don't know if you are dealing with unresolved baggage.

The grief, trauma, loss, and loneliness that come with a divorce can have a strong impact on a man. However, studies from pew research reveal that 64% of divorced men are trying to get married again. So how do you know if he's truly over his ex and ready to commit to a long-term relationship?

«Dating before you’ve healed often becomes a way to avoid the work you still need to do.»

Dr. Nicole LePera
Holistic psychologist

Below are eight undeniable signs to look out for. If he constantly bad-mouths his ex or rushes the relationship, these are warning signs. However, if you notice some of these signs, he may be emotionally ready for a serious commitment again.

Quick-scan checklist: 8 signs he's ready to marry again

He's emotionally over his ex
Divorce paperwork & finances are settled
He comfortably integrates you with his kids
Talks 'we' and future plans
Consistent actions over promises
Stable daily routines and boundaries
Open to personal growth and therapy
Friends & family support the relationship

These signs can help you understand whether he has truly moved on from his past and wants to reach important relationship milestones with you. They reveal how ready he is for another marriage and not looking for someone to fill practical or emotional gaps without genuine partnership.

In the next few paragraphs, we'll break down what each sign looks like when dating a recently divorced guy.

Sign #1 – he's emotionally over his ex

he's emotionally over his ex

One of the signs you should look out for when dating a recently divorced man is the way he talks about his ex. Does he seem bitter or angry, or does he speak calmly and maturely about his past? These are clues you need to watch out for.

A man who is visibly angry, upset, or sad when discussing his ex could be a sign that he still has some emotional attachment to his past relationship.

“Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.”

Harriet Lerner
Clinical psychologist, author specializing in relationships, emotional regulation, and anger

The unresolved feelings could make you feel frustrated and emotionally drained like you're competing with a ghost from his past.

However, in a recent study by Binghamton university and university college London, research suggests that while women are more likely to experience emotional pain following a breakup, men feel the loss deeply and for a very long time.

Sign #2 – divorce paperwork & finances are settled

divorce paperwork & finances are settled

Another important sign to look for when dating a divorced guy is to make sure his divorce is legal and financially wrapped. There is no court drama, unpaid bills hanging over his head, or we're still trying to sort things out.

He must be done with everything from child support to alimony settled. Why this is such a big deal is that it often brings a lot of distractions, stress, and delays into your new relationship. Also, no one wants to feel stuck in someone else's drama.

So, make sure your man is upfront about his divorce papers. And it’s reasonable to expect transparency before you start having anything to do with him. Most people want to avoid being pulled into is to be caught in allegations of infidelity and affairs from his ex.

Sign #3 – he comfortably integrates you with his kids

he comfortably integrates you with his kids

When dating a newly divorced man with children from his past marriage, one of the biggest signs he's ready for a real relationship is how he brings you into that part of his life. Think of it like being invited into a family photo, not photoshopped in, but truly included in the family.

He shows respect to both you and his kids. And he tries as much as possible to include you in appropriate family settings over time with them. This shows he wants you to be part of the bigger picture and not just date for fun.

You might find our article "Dating a man with kids: what to expect and how to make it work" interesting.

However, if he's envisioning a family future with you but still pushing co-parenting harmony with his ex, then you might want to slow things down a little bit. Let him fix up his household before inviting you in.

Sign #4 – talks "We" and future plans

talks "We" and future plans

Divorced men, especially those still nursing the pain of their previous marriage rarely talk about the future with a potential new partner. You need to pay close attention to those “I” and “We” he uses in his conversations. Like “Should we try out that new restaurant?” or “I'd love us to travel together this coming Christmas”.

This kind of future planning together might seem small to you, but guess what? It can be the sweetest sign that he's serious about you.

“Commitment is built when two people begin to think in terms of “us” rather than “me.””

Stan Tatkin
Clinical psychologist, relationship therapist, developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT)

Dating someone recently divorced, especially those with kids and busy schedules, often approach new relationships cautiously.

So, you need to make sure that he is trying to factor you into his life and not just going out on a keeping things casual without direction. And just because he's newly divorced doesn't mean your feelings should come second, you deserve to be treated with love and respect.

Sign #5 – consistent actions over promises

consistent actions over promises

Words can be persuasive, but actions matter more. That's where the truth lives. You can get caught up in what he says he'll do. Like “I’m ready for something serious with you” or “You're different from any girl I have met in my life”.

And hey, those words might feel out of this world. But what counts is what he does when no one's looking. Does he follow through on his word? Does he follow up on all those little promises? Is he making time for you even when life gets messy?

This is especially important if you're just beginning to navigate step-family dynamics, like meeting his kids. So, if you are dating someone newly divorced, make sure he is not all about the talks. If he truly wants to be a part of your world, he'll show you.

Sign #6 – stable daily routines & boundaries

stable daily routines & boundaries

A major life shift that can have a great impact on a man is divorce. They might not tear up easily, but deep down they may feel lonely, emotionally drained, or unsettled. We are not trying to dispute these emotions, but you need to be sure that he is emotionally stable and not in survival mode.

For instance, if he is constantly dodging calls, forgetting plans, unexplained disappearances, etc. Then it might be a sign that he is not ready for a new relationship or marriage. However, if he's got a routine that he follows every morning such as work, time with his kids, healthy eating habits, etc. This will make you feel safe and secure.

This kind of stability matters a lot for trust rebuilding when you date a separated man. It shows he's creating a calm, steady rhythm after the storm with his ex-wife. So, make sure he has his mornings and evenings structured, and he consistently makes room for you.

Sign #7 – seeks mutual growth & therapy

seeks mutual growth & therapy

One thing about divorce is that it affects everyone differently. But some men stay too long grieving their past relationship instead of moving on. These unresolved patterns might affect your relationship with him.

However, if he's open to discussing his feelings with you and maybe talking to a therapist. It shows he's open to personal growth through therapy, whether solo or together. So, support him while maintaining your own boundaries as he tries to unpack his feelings and grow from them.

Furthermore, while therapy sessions and journaling are all good, it is the healthy communication you both share that matters a lot. Does he listen, share, and check in with you? Dating a divorced man can be fun, but only if he has done the work necessary.

Sign #8 – friends & family support the relationship

friends & family support the relationship

If you want to know where you stand in a man's life, just watch how he introduces you to his friends. A divorced man who's truly ready for a second chance at love will want the people closest to him to know more about you.

“We are each part of an emotional system.”

Murray Bowen
Psychiatrist, founder of Bowen Family Systems Theory

Also, he will be willing to make an effort to allow them to meet you, like you, and respect the connection you both share. However, if he's brushing off the idea of introducing you to his people, then that may indicate he’s not ready to integrate you into his life.

But when he proudly includes you in family gatherings and casual hangouts with friends, this signals he is happy to have you in his life. It's during these beautiful moments that shared life goals become easier and smoother with his tribe on board.

Red flags he's not ready

Red flags he's not ready

So, you have checked for the above 8 signs and found out that he ticks maybe 6 or 8 boxes. And you are thinking you have finally met your Romeo after many trials and errors. However, we're not here to crush your hopes of finding true love. We simply want to highlight some red flags to watch out for when dating a divorced man.

Also, just because someone was married before doesn't always mean that they are responsible and can stay committed. So, make sure you look out for the below red flags when dating recently divorced man:

They're not divorced: dating a separated man who is still legally married to his ex-wife is a big turn-off. Please avoid it if you don't want drama and chaos in your life.
He speaks negatively about his ex: this proves that he is still emotionally tied down to his past. So, give him some time to pass through this stage as you don't want someone who is emotionally unavailable.
He just got out of his marriage: according to aarp, the period after divorce can involve anxiety and emotional numbness. Who wants to date such a person?
He’s emotionally unavailable: he might be funny, charming, and romantic to be with, but when it’s time to talk about real stuff, he shuts down or dodges. This is a significant red flag.
Always talking down about women: another red flag when dating a separated man is that persistent hostility toward women is a serious red flag. You need to watch out for these attitudes as this can be a sign of commitment phobia.

So those are some of the major signs a divorced man is not ready to date. However, what does it mean to date a man in his 30s vs 40s, let's find out below.

Dating a divorced man in his 40s vs 30s

Dating a divorced man in his 40s vs 30s

Dating a divorced man in his 30s versus his 40s can look very different. For instance, a divorced man in his 30s might still be exploring new careers or hobbies because he's younger and routines can change quickly. Also, he might be more focused on building a new life with a partner and less concerned about legacy.

However, this is different when you are dating a divorced man in his 40s.

“Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.”

Carl Jung
Psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, founder of analytical psychology

These types of men have a steady career, a clear parent-child schedule in place, financial stability, and are interested in long-term relationships.

How long should you wait?

There is no right or wrong answer as all men are different in how they handle divorce. However, when it comes to divorced men and dating, psychologist Rod Mitchell advises taking things slowly. Even if you are deeply in love with him, consider understanding each other better than rushing it.

Conclusion

Dating after divorce can be meaningful when both people are emotionally ready. However, you must be ready to do work for it to translate into a successful marriage. A good place to start searching for your soul mate is the meetty dating app.

Meetty uses a compatibility-based approach to help connect people to their ideal partner seamlessly. Also, you get to meet people from different backgrounds and cultures. So, without wasting much of your time, why not sign up and meet someone compatible with your attachment style

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